Kiritimati (Christmas) Island (1785)
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Here in the beautiful city of St Louis it may be 4:00AM on December 31st; but way out in the remote equatorial Pacific, the clocks in Kiritimati [gmap] (also called "Christmas Island") just rang in the New Year.
Because of its proximity to the International Date Line, Kiritimati – one of the "Line Islands" that compose a small subset of the country Kiribati – boasts the earliest New Year's celebration in the world.
Hell... their hangovers are gonna be gone by the time I even start making the regrettable decisions that will lead to my own. Doesn't seem fair.
Also not fair: hydrogen bombing the shit outta the island in the 1950s. Jesus, England, way to be a bunch of assholes. I swear between y'all and the French it seems like you hate islands. I mean, I can't believe you'd... READS FURTHER: well goddamn. Looks like the U.S. came in a couple of years later and nuked it another 22 times for good measure.
We have a vast interior desert under our exclusive sovereign control, but we were out doing atmospheric tests on other folks' pristine Pacific atolls as late as the 1960s. The mind boggles.
Yeah... not really stressing about the hangover thing, now. I'm sorry guys, that's pretty fucked-up. My apologies don't amount to much, but they're all I have to give you.
I'd like to wish all Kiritimatians a happy and fulfilling New Year. The rest of you, too. Sincere best wishes to you and yours, from your curator the 59 King.